Winning Isn’t That Great and Losing Isn’t That Bad

Thanks to Chris Layton for inspiring this post. We had a lovely conversation at #DENSI2014 and this is my reflection from that discussion.

The conversations and ideas around these ideas and their role in society can make your head spin. They range from:

“Awards for students are harmful”
“Learning is not a competition”
“There are no losers in learning”
“Stop gamifying learning”

To:

“Kids need to learn to lose”
“Failure is not an option”
“Embrace failure”
“How can we gamify school?”

Depending on the context, I might agree with all of them. The problem of course is our constant need to simply and fit our beliefs onto bumper stickers or tweets. Nuance is often challenging, complex, messy and worth multiple conversations.

For the most part I think competition is a good thing. At its core it’s about challenging yourself, sometimes against yourself, sometimes against others. But society’s obsession with winning and losing is the problem.

In general, learning to win and lose is a crucial life skill. It’s about more than just formal competition; it’s about facing both external challenges and the internal battles we all grapple with. Competing against oneself is a common experience, whether you’re aiming to beat your high score in a casual mobile game or striving to improve your golf swing, as I often do. This self-reflection is akin to players evaluating their strategies after a round at the meilleur casino en ligne, where the focus isn’t just on winning, but on understanding and enhancing one’s approach to the game.

Having the space to undertake this self-competition in privacy is invaluable. It allows for honest self-assessment and growth. When we do compete with others, the true value lies not solely in measuring ourselves against them, but in observing and learning from their different strategies and techniques. This can be particularly enlightening in games of skill and strategy, much like those found at the meilleur casino en ligne, where each player may tackle the same game from a unique angle. The insight gained here often surpasses the fleeting satisfaction of the outcome, emphasizing the importance of the journey over the destination.

One problem with the debate over the significance of competition is that we’ve both glorified winning and demonized losing. Songs are written and movies are made to celebrate and make icons out of winners. Losers are either ignored or shamed. This mentality influences the way most of us think of competition.

People who want to give every kid a trophy and award often do so to protect kids from the negative experience of losing. As a result it continues to suggest losing is bad and we should avoid it at all costs.

Those that want to turn everything into a competition often do so because they’ve experienced the perks of winning and want it for their own. Survival of the fittest is a concept supported by the fit. They’ve tasted the thrill of victory and I’d suggest often felt superior because others aren’t as successful as they are.

I’ve experience winning and losing everyday. Not everything is a competition but everything can be a learning experience. Sometimes the result is easily measured and lends itself to comparison against others or myself. Sometimes it’s an event or experience that has nothing to do with competing. Either way, It doesn’t matter to me.  Both are learning opportunities. Winning is nice, but it doesn’t define me. Neither does losing. Learning and growth is what’s important. That can happen in all contexts.

Anytime we use exemplars in the learning context we are creating a competitive environment. Hopefully the focus is on how we will compete against ourselves and yet knowing how others are doing should be a useful part. Even a celebration of those who achieve can be seen as a nice recognition. Those who come up short comparatively should learn how to celebrate with others and reflect. This is something adults need to model for children.

So perhaps one way to resolve this issue is to acknowledge that winning and losing is part of life. We need to explicitly teach how to win and win graciously and how to lose with dignity. Neither should define you. I like keeping score and I like data but I’m able to analysis it and consider how it might or might not be used to improve. Some data and scores are more meaningful than others. Some people obsess over every win and loss. That’s a recipe for insanity.