The unfortunate part of realizing how fun it is to be social is that it takes two to tango. When I try to strike up a conversation with a stranger, most people seem to write me off as a freak.

I think what changed this is that few people stay home anymore and children’s schedules are packed with lessons and structured sports. Whereas they used to play pick-up games in the street, now they have organized sports teams. Now parents are busy taxiing their children to these events and are on the road almost more than they are home. Many families don’t even have dinner together these days or socialize much within the family because of the hectic schedules.

Another thing that has changed is the lurking danger parents believe threaten their children. They are afraid to even let them walk to school alone because of gangs, child molesters, bullies, etc. Gangs were unknown when I grew up and I often walked a mile to school happily alone or with a friend. We sometimes stayed off the bus in high school to walk home with friends just so we could talk longer. When we got home, we’d pick up the phone and talk as long as our parents would let us tie up the line. No cell phones then!

I miss those pop-in visits, but popping in now would probably be considered an intrusion to many. Today Facebook is a sort of substitute. It helps me keep up with church friends I see only once a week, or with friends who have moved away. When we we do meet in person, we have more to talk about. Twitter seems more disconnected. It’s a great source of information, but it’s not really a tool conducive to developing deeper relationships. What can you really say in 140 characters in public to help a relationship grow? Facebook allows one to share pictures, have longer conversations — public or private, and keeps threads connected so you aren’t left guessing which question someone is answering. Human face-to-face interaction, though, is still the best, and our busy schedules and constant connection to the digital world is making it quite rare.

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I also wonder about the implications for students and social development; something that Isaac Asimov pondered in his short story “The Fun They Had.”

Being global is good, but not if it comes at the expense of the connections to our local community. Hopefully, we remember that the pendulum doesn’t have to swing to either extreme to succeed.

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That’s exactly the concept behind “Bowling Alone”. To your question I’d say the answer is yes to both. It’s certainly not a complete solution to a problem but it’s more of an evolution of current societal structure. I’m not going to place a value on whether it’s good or bad but it is what it is. These are ways for us to cope, adjust and create connections. I think they can be extremely good and positive but also can be shallow and meaningless. I think in general, it’s too early to tell but want to be part of making them work for good.

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Another aspect which you touch on when you say “kinder and more innocent” time is the area of privacy. On the one hand, we are more transparent, on the other hand we are asking people to pay more attention to the data, profiles and content as we fear what may happen.

Back in the “good ‘ol days”, this wasn’t part of the conversation. People left their doors and cars unlocked and there was a greater degree of trust. The loss of this has also contributed to our more closed, formal approach to socialization.

You are correct that the media has blown much of this out of proportion. I’m not advocating for ignoring privacy issues, but am looking for ways to build trust and freedom to allow for serendipity and pop-ins to occur. Twitter is a trust building tool in many ways.

No doubt it’s not one or the other. There is certainly an addictive nature to all of this as I can attest and I’m sure you can as well. I think boyd’s quote simply offers another perspective that is often overlooked when those not involved in using social media begin to challenge. This is rarely a black and white issue.

I also think that the more we honestly examine and reflect on how and why we are using these mediums, we’ll be better off.

My main argument here is that when used thoughtfully, these tools help facilitate social.

It’s not about the media, it’s about the social

This is the target we should be shooting for.

However, enter the Internet. While it is resisted by the education establishment, its not going away either. Not only does it provide more than a classroom ever could, it forces new values… networking (even among younger folks), sharing materials and information and yes, socially-based learning. While we webheads of this generation are voices crying in the wilderness, the next generation or two will really make things happen. Hope I live long enough to see it, but its gonna get messy before we find a way to accommodate it on a wide scale.

One other thing… it is about the socialization rather than the technology (I think I need to put this point in a presentation Im preparing) and for some students, this is a god-send. Im speaking mostly about introverts and socially-challenged-in-real-life people like me. Students who do not communicate or socialize well due to lousy social skills, not meeting certain “social standards” (like the fat kid) or just plain shy get chances to participate online they never do in a classroom. The Web allows more people to participate in more ways at least right now as many of these factors can be hidden or mitigated. Not only is this a blessing psychologically, as a fan of socio-cultural learning theory, we may now actually be able to put some of these ideas into practice for more than just a few!

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Nevertheless, I think there’s far more to the “addiction” we may feel (or perceived addiction others might place upon us) than an addiction to our friends.

Like I said here the other day, personally I think I’m as much addicted to the stream of information – the input, if you will – than any addiction I might feel toward my friends (no offense intended, of course – I’m just trying to be honest here).

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Your point about transfering this philosophy or practice into the classroom was not lost on me. Thank you for challenging my thinking!

We (okay I crave) conversations with my friends. Whether it is a quick “arrived alive” or a “we are having a baby” or “my e-mail is down” all of those let me know that my friends are alive and doing well on planet earth. (or at times, I find out that things are not going too well also!) Twitter is my connection to friends I never knew I needed 2 years ago — who have become so important a part of my life today.

I also agree that more teachers’ doors need to be open — as you mentioned yours was — to not only share ideas, but to let new ideas in as well. I would love to brainstorm ideas on just how to have this happen much more.

And, thank you for your comment on “Don’t over think it. If you do, you’ll drive yourself batty.” Smiles, I am going to turn that into a poster to put by my desks (at home & at work!!)

Nice thoughts today, Dean. Thank you for sharing them with us.
Jen

PS:
Paul Wood and I were recently talking about meeting for dinner with friends — and the distances both of us have traveled to do so. What we both agreed on, and you did as well, it was the conversations we were seeking. The food was just the perk.

A few years back I was lucky enough to hear Richard Louv speak at the NSTA (National Science Teachers) conference in St. Louis. My Louv wrote a book entitled: “Last Child in the Woods: saving our children from nature deficit disorder.” Though the book does a fantastic job of making the case that this is the first generation of kids who are largely divorced from nature, the main thing I remember from his talk was his thoughts on fear.

I think our previous administration did a lot of damage in creating unnecessary fear among the general public. However, the penetration of media into every fiber of our lives has probably done the largest damage. I say that as a fan of the quick connections made possible by new media. But mass media especially… seize on every single “stranger danger” story and give it days… no weeks… or months of coverage. This, in effect, blows these stories way out of statistical proportion.

I agree. I miss the informal “pop-in” type of face to face interaction that I grew up with. It truly seemed like a kinder, more innocent time. Perhaps because I was kinder, and more innocent?

Serendipitous learning is truly inspiring when it happens. Tools like Twitter really have allows this to happen not only for me personally, but for students of my biology class as we tap into the ‘verse on the big screen most every day. Most days, we just see the updates pop up on Twhirl atop anything else we might be looking at… but some days. Some days, we make really cool connections with both ideas and people.